You’ve heard the story of the 2 wolves 🐺🐺 that are within each of us always in conflict with each other, as the Native American story goes, one a Wolf of Love, the other Wolf of Hate.
In the story a Grandmother tells this tale to her grandchild. After hearing the story, the grandchild asks, “Which one will win, Kokum?”
The Grandmother replies, “Depends on which one you feed.”
That paradox within us. Love, and Hate, Good and Bad, Right and Wrong…
How can I be so loving at one moment and then so miserable in another?
How I feel will determine which wolf I’m feeding!
I expanded this story this way:
The grandchild then says, “What do they eat Kokum?”
And the Grandmother thought a moment and replied, “They both need 3 things my child, time, attention and consideration.”
My Child, what do you think the Wolf of Love would most like to eat to grow healthy and strong?
“Well… Started the child, “Warm hugs, smiles and kindness?”
“Yes my child. Kindness and care to others as well as kindness to ourselves.”
“What do you think the Wolf of Hate would like to eat to grow bigger and stronger?”
The child thought and then whispered, “Oh… mean words, being afraid like when I’m mad?”
“Exactly my child. That is why we must first feed them attention.
“They both need our attention.
We must take time to sit with ourselves and see which wolf is active. Because remember they both want our attention.
When you are frustrated, or disappointed, my child our Wolf of Hate perks up its ears.
From that disappointment or frustration that is there, is there a mean-ness that comes up? Or are there thoughts of getting back at someone, or name calling? These are juicy bits the Wolf of Hate feasts on.”
“And when you are feeling happy, sharing, helping others, and using kind words, your Wolf of Love, is being fed good food so she will grow strong.”
“But what do I feed it if I feel bad?” queried the child.
“This is where you give attention to those thoughts and hurt feelings. You can always talk with me, or your Mom or Dad.”
“You must realize that the Wolf of Hate is actually pointing to something you need at that moment. “
“Are you hungry, hurt, lonely, mad or tired? Are you needing a hug yourself? By naming it and letting the Wolf of Hate know you see her, you have fed her time, attention and consideration.”
“This will quiet her down. “
“Remember my little one, our thoughts will feed either wolf. We must give our thoughts time, attention, and consideration by being aware. Just as I wouldn’t give you spoiled food to eat, don’t give the wolves thoughts of greed, revenge or resentment.”
“My Little One, you know how you like a treat from time to time?”
One of the the thoughts and actions that make both wolves healthy and is good for both of them and a treat, is gratitude.
Gratitude to our Creator for our wonderful experiences and even the difficult ones. This helps the Wolf of Love to grow strong with a shiny sleek coat.
And it gives your Wolf of Hate nourishment, because it is being recognized for try to protect you.”
“Gratitude.” The Grandmother repeated.
At this, the child bounded outside with a big smile looking back to say thanks Kokum.
Right now in this moment as you finish this story, where are your thoughts?
Which Inner Wolf within you do you wish to feed this week?
The Grandmother doesn’t mention this, but by stopping to take 5 slow deep breaths, and bringing to mind something you are grateful for, you have just set down 2 nutritious meals for both of your Wolves.
I’m listening to Rick Hanson’s The Buddha’s Brain as part of the Self-Care Café gathering for the month of December.
Chapter 8 inspired me to create this next chapter for this universal and timeless story.
Grateful for you and any feedback you have.